Yes, at poker and in life we all have our thrills. Some thrills are much bigger in scope and anticipation. I have more modest requirement. Actually, they border on pathetic.

It has been warm here. Hot at times. When I first moved in I bought an big ass a/c unit. Showing a bit of age and weighs a bunch. I used to be able to get it in the window but an arthritic back changed that and now I hire a guy to come in and place it. The house had a boiler so central air was out.

The unit is getting a little long of tooth. How toothy? Well, it was purchased at Montgomery Wards. Remember them? Cools like the whole house unit it was but there is the occasional noise that garners attention.

So, I went out and bought my Ferrari new a/c. I saw it on QVC as I was surfing. Yeah, it is getting more pathetic, isn’t it?

Without further ado:

My Thrill

I hope that doesn’t cause over excitement in your life. I disavow responsibility for your needing subsequent medical attention.

I am thinking about adding a racing stripe to keep up with you know who.  After all, mine has wheels too.

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Well, DUH! But, wandering about is akin to having a Hot Tub Time Machine.

I was a boy scout. That’s hardly earth shaking news given my gender and the times. It was troop 210 for those keeping record. It was part of the Pokagon Trails Council. They ran Camp Betz, which I attended. ($25 for a week – food and bus ride included – but understand $100/wk was a pretty decent job and a new car could cost well under a grand) It wasn’t all that posh though. The food wasn’t quite one-star but it was filling. Instead of baguettes, it was Wonder Bread served in the wrapper. Instead of butter, it was apple butter from a #10 can doled out into a utilitarian bowl that weighed more than the contents.  The beverage of choice was the institutional version of cool-aid. The bunks were just the spring and you bought along a big sack — straw bales provided by the camp.

But, I even made Junior Staff for a glorious month and it even came with a real mattress. Good memories. So, in wondering the net. I came across s reference to it. It was glorified by Gene Shepherd who glorified The Region in childishly endearing ways. His claim to fame is, of course:

Visit my boyhood haunt!

Yeah, it was as ratty a camp as pictured but it was the primitive frontier to my compatriots and me. And, I’m still using the canoeing skills they imparted. We used that skill to paddle 7.5 miles up river to an even more decrepit property. The first year I was only a passenger. I learned how lucky that was in latter years.

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I am seeing it at stud and that is a game that might call for another nine add on.  Catching at that game is what keeps so many playing.  Catching is a necessary component.  But there is catching when you have a ton of out and catching when there’s just a couple.

So when a guy shows his 8-high straight and the down cards are between the 8 and the 4, his pride is misplaced. Or the guy shows his weak two pair that he bet from start to finish.   Stud is a big hands kind of game and showing hands that require prayer and fasting to win with aren’t to their benefit.

It happens so much that instead of concentrating on the cards — live and dead — I’m typing away making notes.  At times it is so prevalent that I wonder if I’m a card player or secretary administrative assistant.

While Stud may be the worst place, it can happen in all of them.  And the example above points toward lack of understanding.  But, the other side of the coin is still active.  So, you show a genius play.   It had the pot odds and out and bright betting.   That may go over the head of a few; but, the good players will be able to limit your profits in future hands with the knowledge.

I have showing disabled.   There is the occasional (.1%) times I’d like to show the rockets when I’ve been aggressive and drag the hand pre-flop.  But, even that isn’t always the smart move.  Better to leave them guessing.  Why make the guys day knowing he made a smart move?

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1. Hee Haw Rivers
2. Sucking out or not
3. MTTing It

It was an actual trolley converted to a diner. It would have met none of the current Board of Health standards. And the john? Well, forget it. I'm still trying to.

It was little. There were maybe ten stools at the counter. There was a grill, a couple of burners and a little refrigerator that sat underneath. The sink was to one side and a glass case with an aging pie and some drying donuts on the other. The sink had pitted and worn porcelain. Yeah, the Board of Health even then was looking the other way.

Behind the counter was this 'old guy' in a greasy apron and a paper hat. He was a nice man. He treated everyone the same. On the burner was this big pot that contained chili. It was bottomless in a way that also wouldn't be acceptable. When it got low, it was added too. Not sure if it would even fit in that little refrigerator. But, it was spiced to perfection. It wasn't your Wendy's thick so-so chili. It was more watery and finding a chunk of meat or even a bean was like finding the pea in a shell game.

But, I've never tasted anything like it. I've tried to duplicate it and never come close. It had to contain manna from some Greek god.

The burgers were 12-cents. They weren't like today's double Whopper. He'd take a golf ball size piece of hamburger and flatten it to the point you could see gaps between the chunks. He'd spoon some of that chili broth on bun and burger; sprinkle on a few onion bits; finish it with a bit of watered mustard that merged into the broth.

Those super stars on the cooking channel are always lauding the complexity of their creations. Well, this old Greek kicked their butts. He knew nuance better than an unhappy bride.

All this is 50+ years in the past. Yet, I can still taste it and would give my life saving for a plate of them. Damn they were good and I've never tasted anything close, since.

Today we have higher standards and regulated mediocrity and call it progress.  I make fun of the fixtures but he scrubbed and cleaned and overcame.  I never got sick and even the muckity-mucks  from the nearby city hall would come there for their chili fix.  The Board of Health was smart enough to recognize the trade off was to everyone’s benefit.

It is gone now…  I am sad.

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Dihydrogen Monooxide is proven to cause the death of thousands each year.  Yet the government has no ban on this colorless and odorless liquid.  What is the world coming to?   Contact your congressmen today!!!

Don’t be fooled.  This common solvent is surreptitiously sold under a host of branded names.

BAN

Dihydrogen

Monooxide

Not written 4/1 on my phone that starts with an I;  I upgraded to J!!!

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Guess the casino!

Answer:  The Grump Dump

Posted using my eye-yi-yi phone

I scrapped the oi-vey phone from Sprint

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The roll is a the key actor in the program.  He will play Dead Guy One.

The following was released by the producer. Oliver Shmidlap:

We had Mr. Helmuth in mind for a different show.  But, his recent acting at the final table he lucked into where he lay in a fetal position for minutes makes us think he could play such a diverse roll as Dead Guy One.

We had long thought about using this actor in our show but hadn’t realized his diversity.  We had him down for far different roles:   Psychotic Spelling Bee Murder  or Neurotic Diva 3.  We are fortunate he was able to demonstrate his versatility and seem perfect for this roll.

It is always great when our poker stars can branch out into other efforts.  Although, when interviewed, and asked about Mr. Helmuth’s poker stardom, Shmidlap responded, “He plays poker too?  I’ve seen him there but I thought he was part of the entertainment.  Who’d have guessed he plays poker too!”

Posted on 4/1 using my phone that starts with an eye.

(or a less painful finger press)

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I've played 5 in the last week. Got a 2nd and a 1st in last two 6.50 ones. The first 3 were just 2.20 ones to get my feet wet again. In the old days the hours were run up on Ultimate Bet. It was a soft place and I'd still have to say it is among the softer sites available in US facing sites.

CRUBS

All claims to the contrary, crubs ain't all they're cracked up to be. The last hand in the one I just won is such an example. I raised with crubs. 64 to be exact. I flop a solid straight draw and the 3 of crubs made it. I 'weak' bet the turn. Of course, weak bets when it a turbo aren't all that weak. Got the guy to move in with a paired 53 in crubs. Nice.  Of course the crubs would have worked if they had to do so...


ADDENDUM:

Here's something completely different. I'll pimp landsend.com. They've a nice sale going. Picked up several pairs of chinos and some tall size mock turtlenecks. They also have washable slacks decent for office wear on sale. What I liked was that the inseams are sizable by .25”. That is a big plus for me where 32's are a big short and 34's a bit long.  They have a great online chat ability that I used too.  Good support!


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I played the $200K (correction compliments of Mojo) and managed to money. It was an interesting tournament. First off it was a Turbo which isn't my favorite tournament but I can usually work them. It is a game you need to pick up cards early in to prosper. I managed that.

The first big hand came with a limped table and me on the button with a suited one offer of modest (understatement) strength. The flop hit my suit with two and I bet half the pot when it was checked around to me. Got a caller or two and saw the lovely suited K appear on the turn. I stacked off one of them.

The next was KK with a flop of J high. I was in early position and bet the pot against another group of 3X callers. I got raised all-in by an Idiota Italiano holding AJs who never heard of sizing bets. Shazam, I'm at 3+ times the starting stack and we're still early.

I was able to play comfortably at that table. We had a combination of passives and maniacs and the maniac were to my right. I was really enjoying the situation so, obviously, I got moved. The move put the maniacs on my left and things weren't as much fun.

Now the turbo had about 30K players but it paid 7,500. You really had to ignore things to miss cashing. No points will be given for my cash. The play was wild. The player count was dropping thousands a level. Five minute blinds helped that along but players contributed more to the situation than the blinds.

I regretted one play. I had AJs when we went hand for hand. I'd looked and there were about 20 that didn't even have ante for the next hand. I should have pushed my short stack there and wimped out. I went out a couple of hands later holding Q9 and a Q on the flop against A-rag and you know what came on the river.

I' really blame the demise on the table. I just couldn't find any traction against those maniacs to my left. It was impossible to be inventive to any degree and that's the kiss of death as the blinds skyrocket.

The tournament (for me) last just over an hour. When we got down to 7501 players and heads up, guess how many were left after that hand. 7100! Believe it or not 400 players went out in just that hand.

P.S. I won $7.50 and “ran it up” to over $10 playing a bit of stud. I remain solvent on Full Tilt if you use a liberal interpretation.

ADDENDUM:

"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF...."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs..

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

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This is the first hand I played after sitting on Full Tilt. I had KK6 and just called from early position. I probably should have completed but had just sat and didn't know the other players. I then proceeded to slightly overplay with betting and raising as strong as I could. But, I wasn't even the one to cap the river.

From Hand Histories

FullTiltPoker Game #16427518960: Table Tucan - $0.25/$0.50 Ante $0.05 - Limit Stud Hi - 15:59:08 ET - 2009/11/30

Seat 1: TiltinTony ($15.85)

Seat 2: JKenP ($10)

Seat 3: g-boys from WB ($0), is sitting out

Seat 4: Jomuc ($31.25)

Seat 5: slimjim646 ($7.70)

Seat 6: joshua55 ($16.20)

Seat 7: nikolaiXII ($8.50)

Seat 8: crd1 ($5.75)

nikolaiXII antes $0.05

Jomuc antes $0.05

crd1 antes $0.05

TiltinTony antes $0.05

joshua55 antes $0.05

slimjim646 antes $0.05

JKenP antes $0.05

*** 3RD STREET ***

Dealt to TiltinTony [7s]

Dealt to JKenP [Kc 6d] [Kd]

Dealt to Jomuc [8s]

Dealt to slimjim646 [Qs]

Dealt to joshua55 [9c]

Dealt to nikolaiXII [Kh]

Dealt to crd1 [Th]

TiltinTony is low with [7s]

TiltinTony brings in for $0.10

JKenP calls $0.10

Jomuc folds

slimjim646 calls $0.10

joshua55 folds

nikolaiXII calls $0.10

crd1 calls $0.10

*** 4TH STREET ***

Dealt to TiltinTony [7s] [3d]

Dealt to JKenP [Kc 6d Kd] [5c]

Dealt to slimjim646 [Qs] [Tc]

Dealt to nikolaiXII [Kh] [Qc]

Dealt to crd1 [Th] [8d]

nikolaiXII checks

crd1 checks

TiltinTony checks

JKenP bets $0.25

slimjim646 calls $0.25

nikolaiXII has 15 seconds left to act

nikolaiXII calls $0.25

crd1 calls $0.25

TiltinTony calls $0.25

*** 5TH STREET ***

Dealt to TiltinTony [7s 3d] [4d]

Dealt to JKenP [Kc 6d Kd 5c] [As]

Dealt to slimjim646 [Qs Tc] [9h]

Dealt to nikolaiXII [Kh Qc] [4c]

Dealt to crd1 [Th 8d] [Ad]

JKenP bets $0.50

slimjim646 calls $0.50

nikolaiXII folds

crd1 calls $0.50

TiltinTony calls $0.50

*** 6TH STREET ***

Dealt to TiltinTony [7s 3d 4d] [Jc]

Dealt to JKenP [Kc 6d Kd 5c As] [Ac]

Dealt to slimjim646 [Qs Tc 9h] [Qh]

Dealt to crd1 [Th 8d Ad] [Ks]

JKenP bets $0.50

slimjim646 calls $0.50

crd1 raises to $1

TiltinTony folds

JKenP calls $0.50

slimjim646 calls $0.50

*** 7TH STREET ***

Dealt to JKenP [Kc 6d Kd 5c As Ac] [Ah]

JKenP bets $0.50

slimjim646 calls $0.50

crd1 raises to $1

JKenP raises to $1.50

slimjim646 raises to $2

crd1 calls $1

JKenP calls $0.50

*** SHOW DOWN ***

slimjim646 shows [Td 9s Qs Tc 9h Qh 9d] a full house, Nines full of Queens

crd1 mucks

JKenP shows [Ah Kc Kd 5c As Ac 6d] a full house, Aces full of Kings

JKenP wins the pot ($12.60) with a full house, Aces full of Kings

*** SUMMARY ***

Total pot $13.10 | Rake $0.50

Seat 1: TiltinTony folded on 6th St.

Seat 2: JKenP showed [Ah Kc Kd 5c As Ac 6d] and won ($12.60) with a full house, Aces full of Kings

Seat 3: g-boys from WB is sitting out

Seat 4: Jomuc folded on 3rd St.

Seat 5: slimjim646 showed [Td 9s Qs Tc 9h Qh 9d] and lost with a full house, Nines full of Queens

Seat 6: joshua55 folded on 3rd St.

Seat 7: nikolaiXII folded on 5th St.

Seat 8: crd1 mucked [Qd Jh Th 8d Ad Ks 7c] - a straight, Ace high

Every player did his version of sucking out. Actually, we all might have led as we moved street to street. Because they shuffle the down, one can't say for sure where each player made their hand other than the straight taking the most streets to think he had the lead.

I love this hand. Well, I won it but that isn't all. If you haven't played stud, you might think this quite unusual. It isn't. It really isn't sucking out like in Hold'em. It is drawing out and that is the norm. The one that did suck out was the gutshot but even there it wasn't a totally horrid chase. He was likely getting about 10:1 to call. It was a fold though with the K up of mine being likely paired and cutting down the likelihood of his case card catch on 6th street. So, he was the one hanging on with the least promise.

Slimjim got sucked out on by me on the river. Little denying that. He was lucky throughout the hand to improve as he did. I played his side of that hand and been disappointed too. One of the things that can get to your head at stud are these hands. You watch some guy bet his middle pair like it is quads and win with that 99 or whatever against a bunch of callers. Then you pick up aces up on in the first 4 and get crushed and have 3rd best hand at the river. Stud is a fickled mistress.

That hand was one of very few played by me. I tightened up a bit but the cards weren't cooperating and my VP$IP was 19%. I would have like to have seen it in the mid to upper 30's as the table filled with calling stations that like to participate. It is where you can play more speculative hands.

I gave back some. That hand made $8.70 and I left with $6.70. I actually won on 4th street (.70) on the next hand and that was the last hand I drug in 26 hands.

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