Stolen goods
OK, I stole this from The Zoogler…
Below are some helpful hints on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
1) If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
2) If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
3) f you buy a computer, it will go to India.
4) If you buy fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala.
5) If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
6) If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
7) If you pay off your credit cards or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on hookers, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
These are the only American businesses still operating in the US. So, the best suggestion is go to a ball game and drink beer with a tattooed hooker that you met at a yard sale.
Related posts:
Where do I sign up?
-DrC
Might be wise to wait until after The Wife has visited to post your comment. I don’t think she has. Like the ads says…
There’s a Ford in your future!
First reasonable economic stimulus plan I’ve read to date!
Now that our $1 is almost at par, I just may have to save your economy on my own!
But American Beer… OH Crap!
Wonder what happens to all that Scotch money I spend down there?
Falstaff gets a new kilt perhaps?
Yeah, Bammer. We’ve all seen the benefits of going with Canadian brews in the McKenzie brothers. The world is hardly ready for expanding on such excellence, eh?
OK, I stole this from The Zoogler
If it’s all this good, steal more. Funny stuff.
You forgot massage therapy. Except for the Dr., after his comment.
Oh, and if you buy CERTAIN computers, some of your money does get recycled to me, who will spend it on American massage therapists.
Just in case you want to further stimulate my economy.
Didn’t that AMT you liked so much have an accent? And even HighlyProfitable computer companies are as global as an augmented pole dancer.
(BTW, my water heater took a crap. Richmond brand and same for replacement–$490. The new one came from Mexico. I am getting $100 for it being Energy Star.)